WHUT? A BLOG POST/?

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I NEED SOME brain dump time!

So, I have decided to start blogging again, with a twist, as you shall read.

But first! An update for those who I haven’t ran into in forever! (Or, those that are new, you can also head over to the “about” page for some of my witty writing that is like 3 years old). I have gotten to the point where I drive my own car, live in like a house with people I’m not related to, and I have completed 5 FREAKING YEARS OF UNIVERSITY (I is soooo smrt noe!). Not that I know what I am doing with my life, which brings me to my blog topic.

I SHOULD BE HAVING LIKE A MASSIVE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, but I’m not. You know why?

Because I am really okay with not having a flipping idea about where my life is going.

It’s okay to not know.

AND NOW! A poem! (because I went to Bible camp and it renewed my FAITH and also turned me into a poem writing weirdo. Not that I wasn’t a weirdo before. I was. But now I write poetry on occasion).

TRUST in the LORD with all of your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
And he will make your paths straight.

But what if my path is not supposed to be straight?
Lord knows I can’t walk in a straight line.
Perhaps my path isn’t supposed to be smooth, clear,
And with no steep hills or low valleys.

I was never the kid that knew,
What I wanted to do when I got older.
Perhaps because I grew up too soon,
And learned all the realities much too early.

I changed my major four times:
Political Science? International Studies?
Perhaps Economics? History?
And yet, I still don’t know the path that lay ahead.

But maybe that is my path.
To not know at 8, 23, or 45.
Perhaps I am not prepared.
And maybe I am leaping blind.

But maybe a better translation is not
“And he will make your paths straight”
Perhaps I apply the footnote.
“And he will direct your paths.

I don’t need to know.
I just need to know who to follow.
Perhaps my life isn’t supposed to be straight.
And the fun is running, full speed, with no understanding.

Just faith.

Disabled Love

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Yes, it is Valentines day and I’m doing a semi-rant about love. So shoot me. As a disclaimer, yes, I am single. Am I looking for a guy? Eh, I don’t really know. I mean if one falls in my lap, I’ll take him, but I am comfortable being single and I don’t think my ovaries are going to shrivel up anytime in the near future.

But now to my rant.

I am asked “why don’t you find a cute, nerdy guy in a wheelchair?” and other women with physical disabilities with partners are often asked if their partners are disabled.

But the truth is, only around 10% of people with disabilities are with another PWD. This stat is for physically disabled people, I think the stat is higher for mental disabilities.

And my answer to the question is, I don’t like playing bumper-cars. I want a guy who is able to order my insulin pump supplies over the phone, who can carry my luggage when we go off on wild adventures and do the stuff I can’t (or that I don’t want to) do.

Don’t get me wrong, disabled guys are great fun. And being in a relationship with someone who has been through the same struggles is awesome. I also say to never say never, especially when it comes to relationships. But I’m not going to actively look for another guy with cerebral palsy and I’m not going to lower my expectations of a guy just because I’m disabled.

So don’t expect me to roll down the aisle with another set of wheels anytime soon.

Re: Am I offended by the Word “Retarded”?

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WARNING: Mega Language.

My sister asked me this morning if I am offended by the word ‘retarded’. My answer was brief because I don’t text before breakfast. So this is for her.

I am not offended when people use the dictionary definition when they say something was retarded. Retard means “to delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment”.

Retard is a fuckity VERB. NOT a noun (ok, with the exception of “Retardation” which means “a delay”). Not an adjective. A VERB. An “action word”.

Synonyms of ‘retard’ are: “delay, slow down, slow up, hold back, hold up, set back, postpone, put back, detain, and decelerate.”

I am offended when people use the VERB retard as a noun. If someone says “She is being a retard” IT IS FUCKITY BAD ENGLISH. It is like saying “She is being a to hold back”. Fuckity stupid people offend me.

Retard used properly looks like this: “I retarded the swing of the crowbar so that it would look like an accident when I killed him”.

You can retard a vehicle or the speed at which you walk at. Hell, ‘ritardando’ is a music term meaning ‘to gradually play slower’.

Bad grammar aside, retard can be and is used as derogatory term, derived from the outdated medical use of “mentally retarded”. This is just not right. Many people can be labeled as differently abled because of a reduced IQ number, but that does not mean you can equate your stupid ass drunk friend to someone that faces daily challenges an who will never be accepted by many of their peers.

Retard is an unacceptable derogatory term because it makes fun of a minority that has zero control over why they are a minority. There is no derogatory term for people of average IQ. I use words like bitch and cunt because women make up 50% of the population and because there are widely used derogatory terms for the other 50% of the population: bastard, dick, prick, wanker (you get the idea).

In conclusion, don’t be a stupid pussy when it comes to calling people names. Please be politically and grammatically correct and call everyone either fucktwatwaffles or fuckity dicklips.

England

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I’ve been rained on in London. I’ve rolled over the cobblestone streets in Oxford. I hailed a taxi (like a pro). I heard Big Ben strike 12. I took the tube (and managed not to get hit by a train). I saw the sunshine on Stonehenge and been where kings and queens have stood.

London 2013! 697

London 2013! 837

I did a lot and saw a ton while in England (museums, art galleries, walks through famous parks and squares). I am unable to list everything, but some of the many highlights (besides the ones above) were: LION KING THE MUSICAL (seriously, it completed me), The British Museum, The Natural History Museum, the London Eye, hanging out in Trafalgar Square, The National Gallery, The University of Oxford and Windsor Castle (did much more, but to list everything would be hard). I mostly just loved exploring London (and the cute British men). Of course, I couldn’t have gotten a better travel companion.

I love traveling, exploring and simply being immersed with everything new. I am not content with sitting still while the world passes me by. Life is short, life sucks and you die. I prefer to see as much as the world as possible. Next stop: anywhere.

“Now more than ever do I realize that I will never be content with a sedentary life, that I will always be haunted by thoughts of a sun-drenched elsewhere.”― Isabelle Eberhardt

BAHHH! Bri is insane!

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After my impromptu trip to Saskatchewan, I was only home a few weeks when I left on another ‘adventure’ involving family – this time my mother’s family. This adventure wasn’t exactly adventurous, but was still pretty enjoyable. I went to Edmonton for a long weekend to attend my cousin’s wedding. It was beautiful, from what I remember. Also, I wore high-heels and a skank dress for the first time in my life, so I was pretty proud of myself (and the skank dress will be coming out again in the fall for my uncle’s wedding, I look too hot in it not to wear it).

School is coming around the corner pretty quickly, but I have one more HUGE adventure left: London, England. It shall be epic. I leave Wednesday (holy shiznic, that’s the day after tomorrow. I’d better pack! BAHAHAHAHA, says the queen of procrastination). London, in a wheelchair should prove to be pretty interesting. I can’t wait!

I’m a Turkey

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Forgive me for my blogging absence. I went on an unexpected ‘adventure’, if it can be called such; one that I would have preferred not to go on. My grandfather died just a week after being diagnosed with cancer. I flew east for the funeral. It was simultaneously good (to see my aunt, meet my uncle and attend the funeral), exhausting (meeting/hugging people too many people that I will never see again on VERY little sleep), and frustrating (not being my sarcastic, smartass self AND dealing with my grandmother who is just another story all together for FOUR DAYS nearly killed me).

Even though he was never a huge part of my life, especially after he and my grandmother moved provinces east when I was like 12, I loved my grandfather. I called him Bubba (why, I do not know, my older sister came up with the name before I was around). He was compassionate, loving, yet a jokester. He was VERY deaf the last years of his life, yet he was able to hear me quite well because I have a very low voice (for a female), because of my CP.

My dad once made a joke that between the three of us, we were blind, deaf and dumb and how much trouble could an old deaf man, a blind guy and a little girl with CP get into (the answer according to my aunt – I think it was – was a whole lot because we were all turkeys). After my dad died my Bubba made some offhand comment that it was just ‘the deaf and dumb turkeys left to get into trouble now’.

Well, it’s just dumb left now. And I plan to get into a whole lot of trouble. And I’ll always be a turkey. Deal with it.

The Right Wheels

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Yesterday, my new wheelchair came.

As a preface, one needs to know that not a lot of thought was put into my last wheelchair. I was 14 when I got it and originally I just went in to get my wheelchair at the time ‘grown’ (some wheelchairs can be adjusted to grow with a youth) but so much needed to be added and parts replaced that it was going to cost more than half the price of a new wheelchair, something that I was going to need in a year or two anyways. So I just decided to go with a new wheelchair. It fit me and it worked for what I needed at the time. I wasn’t going to be in it a lot because I was still fairly mobile back then, so it was clunky, heavy and kinda big. At the time my family had a van so the wheelchair had to be able to fold and come apart. Folding wheelchairs tend to be quite a big heavier than ridged frames. Mine was about 35lbs.

Flash forward to now. I decided that since I’m not growing anymore and I’m probably going to be in a wheelchair a lot more now that I’m getting older, that I wanted to get a nice wheelchair. Enter my new TiLite (forgive me for not having any pictures). It’s a ridged frame made of titanium. It’s about 10lbs. It is SOO much easier to push. I may actually try replacing my electric wheelchair with it. And it looks pretty damn smexy. The frame looks like brushed chrome, with red accents and red spokes. Hopefully I’ll have some pictures sometime.

My new wheelchair makes me feel a lot more mobile and it’s really quite liberating.

You Never Really Know Until You Try

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Today I rented a cello.

Beginning when I was about 11, I taught myself to play piano (okay, so a concert pianist I am not, but I can play the Disney classics for you – Lion King FTW!), and I played mallet percussion all through high school. So I’m fairly familiar with music. I’ve always wanted to see if I could physically play a cello and I do kinda regret not seeing if I could play it back in high school. Since I don’t have a whole hell of a lot going on in July (okay, I have dick all happening in my life), I decided to rent one for a month. I did the basics today and I was surprised to find that I can play a cello. The dexterity of my left hand is actually quite good, so it’s a nice fit for me.

That being said, will I continue to play after my rental time of a month is over? Probably not. Unless I find I absolutely love it, I just don’t have the time to learn a new instrument after the end of July (I have a wedding and a trip in August, then I’m hopefully moving out, and I have university, which we all know consumes all). But it’s something to keep me busy and my mind active for a month. Some might call me uncommitted, but I’m already committed to so many things. What’s wrong with trying something out  even if you know its not going to be long-term. Even if I don’t continue with it, I can say I got the desire out of my system.

Physical Disabilities in TV and Movies

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I recently just watched the first season Push Girls (it’s on the American Netfix, but it airs on the Sundance channel or something – that’s me being an idiot Canadian). It’s rather… entertaining. It’s a docudrama about four women who live in LA who are either paraplegic or quadriplegic. It’s like Jersey Shore (which I was introduced to during a stay at my sister’s house, I don’t watch it on my own time) on wheels. Being a docudrama about 4 women in LA, it definitely has its stupid moments, but I enjoyed it, oddly enough. People with physical disabilities aren’t really featured in many shows, so it’s nice to see one. I particularly like that they have included a quadriplegic in the show. Nine times out of ten, if you see someone in a wheelchair on TV, they or their character is paraplegic (has use of their arms and hands, but not their legs). Paraplegia is probably the most “glamorous” disability… for lack of better words and quadriplegia doesn’t get near the same attention… but I’ll get to the ‘hierarchy of physical disabilities’ in another blog post.

There is a webseries you can find on Youtube called My Gimpy Life. Season 1 was uploaded in 2012 and it is freaking hilarious. I love it. Even though I’m not a paraplegic, as a wheelchair user, I can totally relate to the situations. There is a scene where the main character (Teal Sherer) needs to go to the bathroom in a restaurant and some abled body person us using the handicapped accessible stall, even though there are other stalls open. I would LOVE to know how many times that has happened to me. The series has its raunchy moments and I love it. The kickstarter for season 2 was recently successful.

I’d like to take a moment here to shame TV shows like Glee that have a physically disabled character played by an abled body actor. Most roles for disabled characters are played by abled bodied people, even though there is usually no need for it. Even one of my favourite movies – Rory O’Shea was Here/Inside I’m Dancing – stars abled body actors playing a men with Cerebral Palsy and Muscular Dystrophy [granted, many of the background characters actually had disabilities, but I’ll get to my love/hate relationship with that movie, and James McAvoy (I mostly just have a love for him) another time].

Crazy Colours

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pink hair

I dye my hair crazy colours. I’ve been dying my hair crazy colours since I was 11. My hair is currently blue (yes, blue, if you haven’t seen me recently, yes, it was pink, now it’s blue). I’ve been pink (several times), blue (for the second time now), orange, burgundy, fire engine red, and green. I think it has been other colours too, I just can’t remember. I dye my hair for a reason. People treat me different when I have my head dyed some stupid colour.

When abled-bodied young adults dye their hair weird colours, they are usually treated like no-good punks by old farts. There is no difference with me when I have my hair dyed odd colours, However, when I have my hair my normal colour, old farts treat me as if I’m mentally handicapped.

I’m a proud person. I’m proud of my intelligence. So when people treat me as if I’m mentally handicapped, it really annoys me.

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